Since it's been a long time since I last posted, I'm going to break this blog down into two parts as I have a lot to talk about. The last two weeks have been really busy with school, friends to entertain, and travel but somewhere in the mix of all that I actually had time to sit and ponder some of the things you miss when living abroad.
I remember a former study abroad student telling me that my time in England would feel like one big vacation, and so far he's been right. I travel quite a bit, only have to attend 3 classes per week, and have more free time than ever before. I fill my days with guitar, soccer, reading magazines, lounging, and playing computer games with my friend Flipper. It's not too much different than home, just less taxing. However despite that I constantly feel tired which can only be attributed to travel and lack the of feeling at home. Don't get me wrong I'm definitely comfortable here, but it's not home and the subsequent comfortable feeling home gives. This might be due to some mild form of culture shock or whatever, but I'm gonna attribute it to what I like to call vacation-pains. You all know what I mean. Think about that feeling you have after returning from a ski trip to Colorado, or Spring Break at the beach, or a trip to New York with someone who wants to see every site (sight?). It's that mild exhaustion you get after spending hours in airports and just need to be in your own bed, however I can't be in my own bed. So it's not that I'm unhappy or anything like that, just feel a bit stuck in vacation purgatory.
Another downside to being abroad are the family events that I miss while across the pond. I'm not going to lie part of the point of this semester is to scout out other countries I would be interested in living in, even if just for a little while. England is a great country and I'm enamored with the city of London, however moving here full time would be a tough choice. I'm used to seeing my parents, siblings, in-laws, and nieces and nephews all the time. I don't feel as if being here has taken a toll on me or that I'm in some despondent rut, but I do miss the interactions with people I'm used to having around me. For instance, about two weeks ago my brother and his wife had their first child and all I've been able to see is a picture whereas my parents flew out to see them. I'm not saying I could have pulled the strings to get out to California for Ben's birth, but I'm not saying that I couldn't have either. On top of that, last week my closest Cousin got married which is a wedding I definitely feel I should have been at, but it's just not practical or economical to return home for a single weekend.
To me this is the anomaly of being abroad. Taking this journey really is rewarding in terms of getting out of your comfort zone and growing as an individual, at the very least I'm fortifying my resume. However I'm also missing some important family events which I will never again have the chance to attend. This makes me wonder about the impact it would have on me if I were to move here for work after graduation. At this time I can't really form a solid answer or opinion, after all this still feels like one long vacation. But I must be honest there is something enchanting about this country, and I'm not at all opposed to trying to live here if I find a job after graduation.
Speaking of graduation, I'm in a weird place because I've started to realize, little by little, that within a very short time I will be on my own and needing a job. So, assuming my career as a chef doesn't pan out (Still no one wanting to sponsor my TV show!) I'm going to need to line something up in the very near future otherwise I'll be moving back to the guest house which I doubt my father would like to happen. I'd like to take this time plug in some shameless self promotion. If anyone reading this works for or knows a company in the market for a young, handsome, dependable, future UT grad with a knack for communication and grammar skills that borderline obsessive, hook me up. One thing I've learned is that having the degree matters most and since ESPN hasn't gotten back to me about that job as a senior NBA columnist (I would sooooo be money) I'll take anything interesting.
Anywho, I'm sure the melancholy undertones of this post sent off all kinds of motherly instincts in my mom (send sugar cookies please!) but rest assured I'm not depressed or anything like that. I'm just having to deal with the realities of living abroad and being away from people that matter to me. As I said before (at least I think I did...) weighing the pros and cons of moving away from home is a tough line to walk. There are upsides and downsides which are plain to see, but making a choice about which points hold more merit is not so simple.
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